The Furon Civil War
by DAHfan
Summary: Part 4. The Final confrontation. Can Pox and Crypto defeat this threat to their existance?
1. The Furon Civil War Part 1

The 1980s. Ten years after Orthopox 14 ascended the throne as Furon Emperor and donned the royal robes and scepter. Crypto was promoted to Pox's old rank of commander, and returned to Earth in a new mothership to continue harvesting the DNA. However, things aren't going too smoothly. Over the years, unknown mistakes in the cloning process has slowly deleted the Furons' genetic programming over the years. Politicians have begun using their political power to initiate the creation of armies to rebel against the Empire and overthrow Pox, turning the Empire into a Democratic Republic. Now, rebel forces have infiltrated the palace in Gorta. Pox is trying to reach an escape ship on a secret landing platform, as rebel troops swarm in.

Random rebels: KILL THE EMPEROR! POWER TO FREEDOM!

Pox: [Making his way down the main corridor] Blast it all! I KNEW raising the taxes was a bad decision! [He ducks into and empty room as troops pass by, and takes a separate route to the secret landing platform, while pulling out a HoloPox Unit in the process] Crypto, come in, this is Orthopox!

Meanwhile, back on Earth, Crypto has just returned to his new mothership from collecting DNA and destroying humans.

Crypto: [He comes in and sets his guns down on a table] Man, I forgot how great the sound of screams was. It's good to be back, heheh.

[The HoloPox Unit in the corner suddenly switches on]

Pox: Orthopox to Cryptosporidium! Do you copy?!

Crypto: Crypto here, your majesty. Whats the situation?

Pox: The "situation" is that I'm in a terrible conundrum at the moment! There is a rebellion within the empire! I'm on my way to Earth now. Prepare the mothership for my arrival! [The HoloPox Unit switches off]

Crypto: Wow. I figured Pox wouldn't make a good emperor, heheh, only ten years on the throne and he's got half the empire at his neck.

Back at the Palace, Pox has just reached the secret landing platform. Some rebels are right on his tail. Pox uses his scepter to blast the top of the doorway, making it collapse, and buying him some time. Pox leaps up into the cockpit of his ship, and takes of just as the rebels break through the debris of the doorway. They fire at his ship, but Pox manages to escape into space, as he looks back on the smoldering palace. Pox's ship's engines were damaged by Disintegrator fire. He slowly approached the Mothership's hanger, but just barely lost control, flew in the hanger door and skidded across the floor.

Pox: [Climbs out of the cockpit] For Arkvoodle's sake! Crypto!

Crypto: Woah, Pox! You can't pilot worth a human waste. Why didn't you get your chauffeur to fly you here?

Pox: Because he's dead! [He shakes his fist]

Crypto: [He scratches his head] Don't tell me he overdosed on DNA capsules again...

Pox: No you dolt! He was disintegrated by invading rebels!

Crypto: Oh, you mean your new political buddies, heheh, I get ya Poxy.

Pox: Enough! Crypto this is SERIOUS. Several democratic ingrates want to overthrow the empire!

Crypto: Aww Poxy, you worry to much. You're the emperor now, and you've got more brains than the inhabitants of Cerebrus-23. Surely you're not telling me that you can't figure out a strategy to fight them off?

Pox: I'm sorry Crypto. The next time a group of crazed rebels come knocking at my door with high explosives, I'll be sure to stand there thinking while they blow me to pieces.

Crypto: But isn't that what happened back in the 60's?

Pox: Do me a favor and SHUT UP.

Crypto: Seriously Pox, lighten up. It's not light I've got problems with humans blowing down my door and storming in.

There is a massive explosion.

Crypto: What the?!

Pox: [Looks dramatically in the direction of the blast] What the Dodecalypse?!

Several humans that resemble the Majestic come storming in.

Pox: It... It CAN'T BE!

Crypto: MAJESTIC?! We wiped those cheap suits out ages ago!

Then, a familiar figure walks in. Silhouette. She's wearing the same suit she war in the 50s, but it has a cape with it. She can still be seen with helmet hair, from the mask she once wore.

Pox: Holy hookers of Arkvoodle...

Crypto: Silhouette?!

Silhouette: That's right you little gray freaks. Did you miss me?

Crypto: It can't be! I crushed your puny human carcass back at the Octagon in Capitol City!

Silhouette: Why yes you did, I remember it vividly. However, you can't keep a good woman down!

Crypto: Whatever! I'll squish you like an Irodian Zorgbeetle, again!

Silhouette: You can try you little gray freaks! Ponsonby dear, why don't you come in here and visit our old friends!

Ponsonby then walks in. He looks similar to the way he did back in the 60s, except his suit is black.

Ponsonby: [Sneers] Have they soiled their spandex trousers yet my love?

Silhouette: If not, they're close to it.

Silhouette was right. Crypto and Pox both gazed in amazement. They were dumfounded.

Pox: But... how... I watched Crypto annihilate you both!

Ponsonby: Well, as much as we'd love to discuss it over tea, I'm afraid that you must die. Attack men!

Pox and Crypto dive for cover as the Majestic agents begin to open fire with their lasers.

Pox: Now what, mister "I don't have any enemies!"?

Crypto: Shut up! I have no clue how the hell those wackos are back from the freakin' dead!

Pox: Well what do you propose we do now?

Crypto: I say I fight them off one by one.

Pox: Well, if you're going to fight them, you'll need a little assistance, right Crypto?

Crypto: What? You mean you actually found Gastro after we lost him through the saucer's view dome in the crash back in the 70's?

Pox: No you dolt! ME! This confounded Civil War is my responsibility. I once commanded Navy troops, but now I command ALL our people! I need to take charge and fight to keep this empire's glory in once piece!

Crypto: Ok... who are you and what have you done with the real Orthopox?!

Pox: Just shut up Crypto.

Crypto: Say Pox, before we do go out their and get our gluteal regions handed to us, I just wanna say I'm proud to finally have you fighting with me... and I also hope Gastro makes it back, he was a great ally, and he made the best damn cortex souffle I ever tasted.

Pox: Honestly Crypto, I'm sure he's fine.

The scene then suddenly flashes to another scene. Gastro is sitting in a lounge chair by a pool in Hawaii.

Gastro: [Motions to the butler for a martini, as several women surround him] Easy ladies, there's plenty o' Gastro to go 'round! Gastro can only take six at a time... well, make it seven.

The scene then flashes back to Pox and Crypto's current situation.

Pox: Are you ready Crypto?

Crypto: What the hell are we waiting for?! Lets boot these monkeys right back out our door!

Crypto swung out from the hiding spot with the Disintegrator Ray firing full blast. Pox soon followed. He leaped into the air, swinging the royal scepter above his head, and landed in the center of a crowd of agents. With a high amount of speed and dexterity, Pox swung the scepter and bashed the agents, flinging them of in different directions. He then fired and energy beam from the scepter and took out some more, then stood in a defensive stance.

Crypto: [As he fights] By the Sacred Crotch! Pox! Where'd you learn all those moves from?!

Pox: I was a general back in my day, Melee combat was required! I was once a skilled fighter with a Furon Plasma Saber and a bow staff!

Crypto: Ya gotta teach me some of those!

Pox: You were never interested in anything I tried teaching you before!

Crypto: Yeah... well, that was all boring scientific mumbo jumbo.

Pox: Impudent as always I see!

They both continued to fight, but soon realized they were hopelessly out-numbered. They ducked behind cover once more.

Crypto: What now? Were outnumbered!

Pox: I can see that Crypto! Wait, I have an Idea! Call the saucer to just outside the window and then activate your oxygen helmet!

Crypto did as Pox said, and Pox also activated his oxygen helmet. Pox then aimed at the window and blasted it, sucking him and Crypto out. After they were out, a steel covering shut tight over the open window to stop the explosive decompression. Crypto and Pox immediately boarded the saucer and fled to Earth, as the Majestic watched from the mothership.

To Be Continued...


	2. The Furon Civil War Part 2

After having fled from the mothership, Pox and Crypto made their way to the abandoned Area 42 in hopes of finding some answers. They land and begin their search.

Crypto: [Kicks a piece of scrap] Why exactly are we here again?

Pox: Silhouette and Ponsonby obviously know something we don't. There MUST be something we missed, or something hidden. There has to be an explanation for Majestic's return.

Crypto: Naturally. But what? All I see is a completely destroyed and abandoned government facility.

Pox: Wait a minute Crypto. I found something. [He holds up some very old, decrepit documents] I can't quite make out what they say... wait... This document is information regarding Project Solaris...

Crypto: Pox, have you been wafting chemical fumes?! The Majestic had nothing to do with Project Solaris. That was all the Blisk and the KGB.

Pox: Precisely. That's exactly why this is so disturbing. This document dates back to 1957, the year we landed. However, it contains information about radiation, Blisk spores, and loads of other data. There's also a name here... Dr. Brown.

Crypto: You think he may have been one of the eggheads who worked here?

Pox: Most likely. He's probably deceased though, considering we destroyed the laboratory back in the 50s. I bet he could have given us answers, were he still alive.

Crypto: Yeah, well the egghead is six feet under, wont do any good now. Best we kept looking.

Meanwhile back up on the mothership.

Silhouette: [Leaning against a computer terminal] Have our new... "units," from Dr. Brown arrived yet?

Ponsonby: Why yes my dear. They're ready for battle.

Silhouette: Excellent. Those little gray freaks wont stand a chance against our ultra powerful Nega-Furon warriors!

Ponsonby: Let's send off our little gift now...

Back down on Earth, Pox and Crypto are rummaging through the debris of Area 42.

Pox: I still haven't found anything. Brains, I hate this. It's like looking for a syringe in a massive pile of wheat!

Crypto: It's needle in a haystack Pox...

Pox: Oh for Arkvoodle's sake! Who cares?!

Crypto: I do. You're supposed to be smart, yet you can't even get an idiom right.

Pox: Oh, well excuse me then. I'll just go NATIVE and learn them all.

Crypto: Ugh, again with the nagging. You're like an old housewife.

Pox: And you're like an ignorant, disobedient teenager.

Suddenly there is a loud explosion. Crypto and Pox look dramatically toward the blast to see large, hideously mutated Furons, glowing green.

Pox: What The-?!

Silhouette: [Appears after the dust clears] Why hello my alien friends. I brought you a gift. Some very... heh heh, "playful" friends of mine. Behold Majestic's greatest creation ever! Nega-Furons!

Crypto: THOSE things are Furons?! They're so hideous! It's like waking up to a diseased Tranny in the morning!

Pox: [Glares back at Crypto]

Crypto: What?!

Pox: [To Silhouette] So that's what you've been hiding! Grotesque Furon mutants! They're made from Crypto 136 aren't they?! I knew it!

Silhouette: Ha! You fool! You have no clue.

Crypto: No clue about what? You're a lesbian?

Silhouette: Oh no, Crypto. Majestic knew about your arrival from the beginning. We'd been preparing for the day you would arrive. We had it all planned out from day one. You were like puddy in our hands! You unwittingly gave us control of America, Europe, and Russia.

Pox: Lies! Silence human! You're pathetic tricks can't fool us superior beings.

Silhouette: You see, that's what I like about you freaks. You really are "big headed." This isn't a game you fools. We humans have been controlling the fate of this galaxy for decades. You may be evil overlords from a star system far far away... but now you aren't anything but extra terrestrial dirt! Nega-Furons! ANNIHILATE THESE PESTS! [She draws her dual laser pistols] This is the end Crypto. Say goodbye!

The Nega-Furons attack, charging toward Crypto and Pox, behind Silhouette. Crypto and Pox charge forward, engaging Silhouette directly. They are immediately blasted by a powerful psi beam, and knocked to the ground. In pain, and now more aware, they get up and take defensive stances. Crypto keeps his phylangeopod on the trigger of his gun, as he and Silhouette begin to circle each other, not even blinking their eyes.

Silhouette: You should surrender, I can promise you a quick, easy death...

Crypto: I'm not going out without a fight you emo harpy. I'll wipe the floor with you, just like in 1957!

Silhouette: Like hell you will.

They open fire.

Pox: Crypto! I have devised a plan to defeat Silhouette and her monstrosities! However, you'll need to sacrifice the Ion Detonator!

Crypto: Are you insane?! Not the Ion Detonator!!!

Pox: Oh stop being so childish you dolt! I built spares!

Crypto: In that case, let's hear the plan. I'm getting my ass handed to me!

Pox: Over load it's power cell and throw it into them!

Crypto: Got it!

Crypto loaded the ammunition chamber to full capacity and then rearranged the power flux inhibitors. The weapon glowed hot, and began to vibrate violently. Crypto tossed it and ran for cover. It landed in the center of the Nega-Furons, and just a few yards away from Silhouette. It exploded with such force, the Nega-Furons were instantly vaporized, and everyone was knocked to their feet. Silhouette was blown several feet away.

Pox: Ah. Large explosions are great in any circumstance.

Crypto: [Dusts himself off]. I must say Poxy old pal, I was wrong about you.

Pox: Of course you were. Now, enough dilly-dally. Let's take care of Silhouette.

As they approached Silhouette, she began to stagger to her feet, her suit tattered by the explosion.

Crypto: [He twirls his gun] Well doll face, you lose... again.

Silhouette: But how? we're both basically the same. Bipedal humanoid beings, with organs, a brain, personality... But there is one thing that sets us apart Crypto - You're a tiny little stunted twerp from space. That's all you'll ever be too. A tiny little insignificant worm. You may have defeated me, but you'll never defeat Majestic. We'll drive you're puny gray ass back into space and rule this galaxy, and there isn't a damn thing your hideously large head can even think of to stop us! [She spreads out arms and looks toward the sky with a deranged look] AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Crypto gives her a final zap with the Zap-O-Matic, killing her.

Pox: Quickly Crypto, perform a scan on her synapses. I want to know what in Arkvoodle's name she meant about knowing!

Crypto: [takes out a disc-shaped HoloPox unit with 3 spider leg-like devices on the bottom of Silhouette's head, which then runs a scan] Got it Poxy.

However, before Pox and Crypto get a chance to read it, Ponsonby arrives with some of his men.

Ponsonby: [rushes toward Silhouette's corpse and embraces it, has if to caress her] No! Silhouette my darling! What have these bastards done to you?!

Crypto: She's dead, Ponsy, and you're gonna be joining her real soon.

Ponsonby: Like hell I will! [Stands angrily] You WILL pay for this! Mark my words! I will NOT rest until I have revenge! [He Picks Silhouette up]

Crypto: Oh you'll rest all right, in pieces!

Ponsonby: [He activates rocket boots by stomping his foot, and jets off with Silhouette's body]

Crypto: So now what?

Pox: With Silhouette's demise, the Majestic holding the Mothership will probably abandon it soon. Call the saucer Crypto, we're going back to base. I want to analyze the information retrieved from Silhouette, and get you a new and improved Ion Detonator, to combat with those things. It's obvious now Crypto. Majestic are and even bigger threat than we realized, and they must be stopped...

To be continued...


	3. The Furon Civil War Part 3

Crypto and Pox returned to the mothership, only to find most of it in tatters and the power off. After getting it back on, Crypto set about making repairs to the mothership while Pox rebuilt a new Ion Detonator weapon. Some time had passed, when Crypto discovered one of Pox's old HoloPox units with a recorded message on it.

Crypto: [He approaches Pox with the HoloPox Unit] Hey Poxy, you may want to have a look-see.

Pox: [He stops tinkering and turns to Crypto] What is it Crypto? And please don't show me another pornography magazine.

Crypto: Oh, this is way better than porn Pox. It's a recording of Ponsonby and where he's headed!

Pox: What are you waiting for?! Show me then!

[Crypto plays the message]

Message: Men, Silhouette has been killed. All of you are to report back to our hidden base, hidden in the canals of Venice, Italy immediately.

[The message ends]

Pox: So, Ponsonby is cowering in the canals of Venice, eh? Lets go Crypto. Conveniently, I have just finished with the new weapon. [He hands it to Crypto]

Crypto: [He grabs the weapon, but it is so unsuspectingly heavy that Crypto immediately drops with it] Ooof! What the hell?! This thing must weigh a ton! What's it made out of, lead?

Pox: Actually yes, in order to protect the wielder from the immense power. This, Crypto, is my greatest weapon. The PHOTON Detonator. This chargeable-mass-of-pure-destruction launches out a small, condensed Photon Star, which once launched, goes supernova with enough power to take out six city blocks, destroy small buildings, completely take the foundation out from skyscrapers, and will be hundreds of types of HELL for any of out enemies! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Crypto: [Has a dumbfounded expression on his face] By the sacred crotch... Pox... You're... An actual genius! A really scary genius, with a big head who wears a bathrobe and carries a big stick.

Pox: Erh... Thank you... Crypto, I think. Let's go. Once we get to Venice, I have another surprise for you.

[The two Furons made their way to Venice. Once there, they met in a secluded part of the canal area]

Crypto: [Is leaning on a box] So, where is this surprise?

Pox: Right here! [He presses a button on his wrist band and a submarine-like vehicle surfaces] Behold! The Furo-Shark Submersible!

Crypto: Oooh, nice ride! Are we going in this?

Pox: Yes we are. Ponsonby's hideout is rumored to be in an underwater base in the canals nearby. The Furo-Shark Submersible has two side-facing lasers and one underwater laser, a full supply of depth charges, an underwater shockwave generator, and I also included turbo for no extra cost.

Crypto: Well hot dog! What are we waiting for, let's ride!

[They enter the vehicle and pilot through the canal, avoiding mines and enemy submersibles, before arriving at the base's doors. Pox hacks the security lock and they enter, surfacing and docking inside. They exit the submarine to find themselves surrounded by miles of Furon technology, displayed as if in a museum. On the wall, the words "Leonardo da Vinci" are inscribed.]

Crypto: Woah... Pox?

Pox: We must be in the legendary workshop of da Vinci! These must be some of his inventions!

Crypto: But they look like Furon technology...

Pox: Perplexing, I know!

[They continued to walk until they came to a large back room. In the room was a massive shrine of Silhouette, her dead body locked inside a glass coffin, her black uniform replaced with a white one]

Ponsonby: [Looming over her] Amazing isn't it? da Vinci was a brilliant man. Only, he wasn't a man. He was a Furon. How ironic, two Furons will die in a Furon workshop.

Pox: You're insane Ponsonby. Driven mad by pointless love. All you speak is gibberish.

Ponsonby: Well, actions do speak louder than words... [He turns and fires a massive ion laser out of a hand-held ion cannon]

Crypto: Look out! [He and Pox dive out of the way as the blast destroys part of the shrine]

Ponsonby: No! Silhouette! You've caused me to damage Silhouette! I'll have your heads! [He begins to float off the ground by using his rocket shoes]

[The three engage in a massive fire fight, weaponry and shields going off and deflecting shots. After a good while, Pox and Crypto manage to gain the upper hand, and Ponsonby goes down]

Ponsonby: [lying on the ground dying] No.. not again. Unbelievable. They actually beat me for real this time...

Crypto: Give it up Ponsy. Furons 2, Ponsonby ziltch.

Ponsonby: You're an even bigger fool than I thought. You simplistic fool, without the human race you wouldn't exist.

Crypto: Minor details, you're still just an inferior primate.

Ponsonby: Ha! [He coughs] It's deja vu all over again. We are both the same you fool, our histories intertwined. We could not exist without each other. Da Vinci and the early Furons, when they left, had no idea... what they left behind... but soon, we will take what is ours... we... will have our revenge, we... will rule an empire of a thousand worlds. We are the beginning... we will be the end... so says master Brown... [He dies]

Crypto: ... What the hell is going on around here?! What in the hell did all the pseudo-religious bullcrap mean?!

Pox: He was obviously not in his right mind Crypto, just leave it. Do you remember the abilities The Master taught you?

Crypto: Of course I do. How do you think I meet all my deadlines?

Pox: Good, we're going to need them, as well as your new weapons, before we can retake Furon from those rebels. Now that Majestic is out of the way again, we can finally focus on the rebellion. Prepare the mothership, we are returning home!

To be continued...


	4. The Furon Civil War Part 4 Finale

Pox and Crypto slowly came into Furon's orbit. They were preparing to depart to the planet's surface, when they started receiving a transmission. They believed it to be the rebels, but it was in reality Pox's right hand man... or woman, Cholera.

Cholera: Hello? Come in!

Pox: Cholera?!

Cholera: Emperor Orthopox! Thank the sacred crotch you made it away from the palace safely!

Pox: Where are you?

Cholera: Spying on the rebels. You won't believe this, but their leader is a HUMAN, who goes by the name of Dr. Everett Brown. He's also got some type of mutant freaks with him!

[Pox and Crypto look at each other with surprise and exclaim simultaneously "Human?! Dr. Brown?!... MAJESTIC!"]

Cholera: You know?

Crypto: Kinda. Listen sweet checks, just hold tight, we'll be down there before you can say "hooberfetzis".

[Pox and Crypto land at the rendezvous point with Cholera. After catching up with each other, they then formulate a plan to stealthily sneak into the Palace. Crypto disables several security mechanisms, allowing Pox and Cholera to slip in unnoticed, with Crypto soon following. They then meet in the Audience Chamber, or Throne Room.]

Crypto: Now we hit 'em where it hurts! It's time to take out Brown. What do you know.

Cholera: He's in the Throne Room in the tower. Spies have seen what looks like a doomsday weapon. You must hurry and stop the human.

Pox: We intend to. Let's go Crypto.

[Pox and Crypto took the elevator. This was it, their final confrontation. They were ready. However, as soon as they exited the elevator, they were immediately surrounded and disarmed by the guards. They stood their ground, but they were outnumbered and unarmed. The enemy had the upper hand. He turned to face them, cackling a cackle of pure evil. He bared striking resemblance to Christopher Lloyd, wearing a suit with matching black gloves and black leather boots.]

Dr. Brown: So, we meet at last, Orthopox and Cryptosporidium. I've been expecting you. I've been expecting you ever since Majestic was formed.

Crypto: Okay, that's it. I want some damn answers! Who the hell are you and what the hell is going on?!

Dr. Brown: [He sits on the throne] I'm sure you would. Ivan my friend, care to explain to these lost children?

[Ivan Oranchov walks out from behind the throne. He still resembles a Blisk Mutant, but he has donned a suit]

Oranchov: I would be happy too, master Brown.

Pox: You know, for some odd reason I'm astounded, yet I expected something like that to happen.

Crypto: Let me guess, you came back to life to get revenge too?

Oranchov: Actually no. I am working for Dr. Brown for money and power!

Crypto: Finally, something that wasn't predictable.

[In anger, Dr. Brown screams "Enough!" and then thrusts his hand forward, PK pushing Crypto into a wall]

Pox: [Looks on with astonishment] What the-?! How did you gain those abilities human?!

Dr. Brown: By unlocking the dormant Furon DNA locked within my brain.

Crypto: [Gets up off the floor with a grunt] Okay, how the hell did you know about that? We wiped all the American Majestic agents' memories...

Dr. Brown: That's because I'm the founder of Majestic.

Pox: But where did you get all of this knowledge, this technology, these weapons? No human from the mid 20th century could possibly know all of this!

Dr. Brown: You're right. You see, it all started when I slipped in a puddle of water on the sidewalk. The fall caused me to have a revelation! I spent the next several years working secretly on a project. Finally, after several years, I had finally succeeded. I developed time travel, using the revelation that I gained from my fall. The Flux Capacitor! I built the time traveling mechanism into a 1955 Moonbeam van , and then as a test, I decided to take a trip to the future to see how man had prospered. However, I discovered that somehow, early humans evolved into Furons and left the Earth, leaving their primitive counterparts, us, behind. Bent on learning more, I killed one and stole much of his technology, weaponry, schematics, and computers. After hacking into his files, I discovered an archive. All the knowledge of the past world I could ever want. I learned that the Furons took over the Earth and wiped the humans from the face of the planet. I then thought up a plan to give us a fighting chance. I collected the body and the stuff I stole, and stuffed it into the back of the Moonbeam. I then took it back with me, and then used it to collect DNA from the Furon. I then went back in time and injected the DNA into hundreds of early human ancestors. After returning to the present time, I then soon realized that I was the cause of the existence of both humans and Furons. After days of research, suddenly it all made sense, I injected too much DNA into several of the early humans, causing them to be able to evolve. Once they did, they created thousands of civilizations across the planet, before finally developing the tools they needed to leave the planet and colonize the galaxy. da Vinci was a Furon, and yes, it was his flying machine that allowed them to leave. Once they left, they named themselves Furons and changed it so that their names would all be nasty bacteria diseases, in order to strike fear into others. While they evolved into intelligent beings, the other early humans also began to prosper, only much more slowly, the Furon DNA within them allowing them to evolve and survive. Deciding that it would be too dangerous to try and stop myself, I placed myself in a time paradox to prevent myself from aging, and then spent years worth of time developing a plan to fight back and to make the human race the dominant race in the galaxy. After studying the archives in great detail, I had my plan, and my Furon abilities began to emerge after years of self training. The time paradox had been in effect for so long, I had inadvertently made myself unable to age, immortal! Finally I exited the Paradox in the early 20th century, and founded the Majestic, using the technology to show recruits the future. Within a year, Majestic had become the biggest and most secret organization on the planet, spreading to every civilization on the planet.. We waited for the day when you and Crypto would land on that small Georgia farm. We then set my plan into action. We would pose as a threat, keeping you occupied. From then on we allowed you to believe you were defeating us, and allowing you to take over the government. In Russia, we came in contact with the Blisk, and allowed them to believe we were helping them take over the world and get revenge, coming up with Project Solaris for them. While you were busy exterminating them for us, we prepared for the next phase of our plan. We used a recipe we found to manufacture Synthetic DNA. We used a rocket to send it to Furon along with a copy of the recipe and information on the Nexosporidium Cyborgs. Emperor Meningitis, being the fool he is, began producing them to serve as minions. Then the Master crash landed off the coast of China. We made a deal with him, revealing our plans. We helped him build the monastery, where he would lure you. Once you believed that Meningitis was an enemy, a few operatives and I boarded your saucer while using a cloaking device to hide ourselves, hitching a ride to your planet. There, we kidnapped several Furons and brainwashed them over time, to form a rebellion against Orthopox. While that took place, we began a DNA engineering program with the kidnapped Furons. We mutated them into obedient super soldiers. Once Orthopox fled, my plan was complete. I then used my armies to take control of the planet and enslaved the people. Now, once I destroy the both of you, I will have complete control, and the humans will rule forever! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Pox: ...That it the most absurd thing I have ever heard! What about Arkvoodle?! The Martian War?!

Dr. Brown: Oh, the Martain War did indeed happen, but unfortunately, Arkvoodle was just a story spawned in order to put the Furons' faith in something. The idols were just statues with fluorescent lights and altered voice recordings.

Pox: Lies!

Dr. Brown: Oh really? Osteoporosis!

The Master: [He walks out carrying the stolen computer terminal] Hello, foolish slug!

Pox: I... I don't believe it!

The Master: Yes, it is true! And now that I have returned, I can at last take my revenge, and as a reward, Earth is MINE!

Dr. Brown: Ands soon I will destroy all Furon life, and the humans will rule, forever!

Pox: Ha! How do you treasonous swine plan to wipe us all out? You, a puny human, couldn't possibly-

Dr. Brown: Ah! But you are wrong. If you look over the railing at the sides of the room, you'll see the galaxy's largest nuclear reactor, which is powering a weapon that fires a massive pulse of pure energy, incinerating any organic lifeform outside this room. Prepare to die Furons!

Crypto: That's it! DIE MONKEY! [He rolls and grabs his gun, shooting the computer terminal, causing it to explode, killing the Master and blowing Oranchov out a window, where he is impaled on one of the palace's spires, and also dies]

Dr. Brown: [He reacts quickly, drawing a Furon Plasma Saber, igniting it's glowing red blade, and then throwing it, which afterwards it impales Crypto in the chest]

Pox: Crypto!

Crypto: [He staggers a little] Son of a... [He collapses, and then Dr. Brown uses PK to reclaim the weapon]

Pox: You... You monster! Nobody screws with my Furon Warrior but me! [He notices another saber on a shelf and uses PK to grab it, then ignites it's glowing green blade]

[Pox and Dr. Brown clashed sabers, dodging, bobbing, weaving, and performing almost dance-like saber strikes. They locked their sabers, glaring at each other. Dr. Brown, possessing other types of PK, such as pyrokinesis, began to shoot flames from his hands. Pox successfully blocked, though his robes were singed. As they clashed, they both lost their balance as the tower shook. It was being attacked by a squad of Saucers, under Cholera's command]

Cholera: [in the cockpit] Alright boys, let's stomp this human into the floor! Keep formation, and DO NOT hit the Emperor!

[Dr. Brown and Pox both dodged and saucer fire came in through a window, causing the tower to shake more. Dr, Brown, angered by the attack, used his PK to slam the saucers together, causing them to crash land in fiery explosions. Pox and Dr. Brown stood off, circling each other]

Dr. Brown: Soon you will join your friends.

Pox: Ha! You are the fool who will have and epitaph on his gravestone!

Dr. Brown: You're species will have more gravestones than I will. I am immortal!

Crypto: Let's... see... if you really ARE! [He runs at a surprised Dr. Brown, and then drop kicks him, before falling to the floor and losing consciousness again]

[Dr. Brown loses his balance and tumbles over the railing into the reactor shaft, screaming as he falls. He lands in the reactor, the immense power vaporizing his body before being distorted. The reactor begins to over load, and small explosions begin occurring, as pieces of the walls and ceiling begin crumbling down. Without hesitation, Pox pushes a button, then grabs Crypto and runs toward the window as a massive explosion happens behind him. Pox leaps out into the Saucer's cockpit just before the fire bursts out the side of the top of the tower, and he then pilots the saucer away, as the tower and parts of the building explodes]

[Sometime later, a mass of Furons have gathered at a public speaking place. Pox approaches the podium on the stage]

Pox: My fellow Furons! We have all fought with bravery, and now, I am pleased to say, the Nega-Furons and their leaders have been destroyed! [The crowd cheers] And now, I am even more pleased to say that ALL immediate threats to the Furon empire have been extinguished FOREVER! [He raises his fist to the sky as the crown erupts with applause] Now that our threats have been neutralized, WE will work together to build our empire, and reach unprecedented expansion! [Crypto walks out of the medical center, onto a balcony] But, I could not have accomplished this alone. Thanks to all of the Furons who helped in the fight and gave their lives, and thanks especially goes to my lifetime colleague and partner, Cryptosporidium.

Crypto: [From the balcony] Heh, you're welcome Pox. No body else cleans up after your messes like I do. [He gives a Furon salute to Pox, to which Pox also salutes]

Pox: Now is the time for us to shine, now-

[Cholera walks out onto the balcony and kisses Crypto, then gives him a seductive look]

Pox: [Has noticed] Oh for Arkvoodle's sake! CRYPTO! Stop fornicating with my secretaries! [Everyone becomes disturbed and leaves] ...Wait! Where are you going? I'm giving a speech here! Don't ignore me like the player in the first game! Come back I say!

[Inside the hospital, Crypto and Cholera are making love on a bed, and then Crypto pulls the curtain around them. The screen fades to black]

[The Credits Roll]

[Credits Song: We Didn't Start The Fire – Billy Joel]

Cast

J. Grant Albrecht as Crypto

Richard Steven Horvitz as Pox

Nika Futterman as Silhouette

Anthony Stuart Head as Ponsonby

Natalie Portman as Cholera

and featuring

Christopher Lloyd as Dr. Everett Allan Brown

Additional voices provided by: Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, Simon Pegg, Richard Dawson, Amanda Bynes, James Earl Jones, Adam Sandler, Michelle Pfeiffer, Joan Rivers, Dee Bradley Baker, Jeff Bennett, Jim Cummings, **Grey DeLisle, John DiMaggio, Bill Farmer, Nolan North, Gilbert Gottfried, Tom Kenny, and Michael Winslow.**

**Destroy All Humans!™ and all it's related content is © THQ. All rights reserved.**

[Lyrics:

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray  
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television  
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe

Rosenbergs, H-bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom  
Brando, "The King and I" and "The Catcher in the Rye"

Eisenhower, vaccine, England's got a new queen  
Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye

CHORUS:  
We didn't start the fire  
It was always burning  
Since the world's been turning  
We didn't start the fire  
No we didn't light it  
But we tried to fight it

Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser aand Prokofiev  
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc

Roy hn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, dacron  
Dien Bien Phu falls, "Rock Around the Clock"

Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team  
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland

Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Krushchev  
Princess Grace, "Peyton Place", trouble in the Suez

CHORUS:  
We didn't start the fire  
It was always burning  
Since the world's been turning  
We didn't start the fire  
No we didn't light it  
But we tried to fight it

Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac  
Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, "Bridge on the River Kwai"

Lebanon, Charlse de Gaulle, California baseball  
Starkweather, homicide, children of thalidomide

Buddy Holly, "Ben Hur", space monkey, Mafia  
Hula hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go

U-2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy  
Chubby Checker, "Psycho", Belgians in the Congo

CHORUS:  
We didn't start the fire  
It was always burning  
Since the world's been turning  
We didn't start the fire  
No we didn't light it  
But we tried to fight it

Hemingway, Eichmann, "Stranger in a Strange Land"  
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion

"Lawrence of Arabia", British Beatlemania  
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British politician sex  
JFK, blown away, what else do I have to say

CHORUS:  
We didn't start the fire  
It was always burning  
Since the world's been turning  
We didn't start the fire  
No we didn't light it  
But we tried to fight it

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again  
Moonshot, Woodsto/ck/, Watergate, punk rock  
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline  
Ayatollah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan

"Wheel of Fortune", Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide  
Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz  
Hypodermics on the shores, China's under martial law  
Rock and roller cola wars, I can't take it anymore

CHORUS:  
We didn't start the fire  
But when we are gone  
Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on...]


End file.
